How many of you have heard the phrase, fear kills more dreams than failure ever will? How true is this? How many times have we let fear stop us from pursuing something that we want? Sometimes I imagine what it would feel like to accomplish a big goal or dream of mine, once I got over the hurdle of the fear of failure. Other times, I take a step back and I think to myself, why am I holding myself back? What am I so afraid of? Just do it.
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Don’t Say You’ll Try, Say You’ll Do
Often times when we set out to do something new for the first time, we tell ourselves, friends, or loved ones that we’re going to “try.” Try? Why not do? Saying that you’ll try is not fully committing to do the thing that you’re setting out to do. And do you know why that is? Because of the fear of failure.
If you tell someone that you’re going to try, it means that it’s okay if it doesn’t work out because you were just giving it a try anyway. Right? No. Saying that you’re going to try is setting yourself up for letting yourself off the hook easily if something doesn’t work out. It’s your fear of failure that is only letting you try something.
I’m going to try this new work out program and see if it’ll help me lose weight. Nope, you’re going to do it.
I’m going to try and train for a half marathon. No, no. You’re going to train for a half marathon.
I’m going to try to create a blog and see how it goes. Ding! Ding! Wrong again. You’re going to create a blog and it’s going to be awesome.
By saying you’ll try you’re not fully committing, and saying you’ll do something is a commitment. Do you tell your child’s teacher, I’ll try and pick Charlie up from school today. No. You tell that teach you’re going to pick Charlie up from school today.
So remember, approach each situation that you’re afraid of failing at and tell yourself that you’re not going to try it, but that you’re going to do it.
Stop The Negative Self Talk
Ugh, I’m so guilty of this, but this is something that I’m seriously working so hard on changing. Have you ever heard the phrase that you are what you think? It’s so true.
Sometimes when I feel nervous or afraid of certain situations I try to imagine the type of person I want to be in those situations. For example, if you’re about to give a presentation to a room full of people, ask yourself:
- How do I want to feel when I walk into this room?
- How do I want to feel when I leave this room?
Be those people. If you tell yourself you want to feel confident when you walk into the room, be confident. If you told yourself you want to feel like you nailed it after you left the room. Nail that shit. Stop the negative self talk, and be the person you want to be.
Think To Yourself, Why Not Me?
This simple statement is so powerful for me. Sometimes when I think about my goals or dreams I catch myself saying to myself, what am I thinking? I’m never going to make this happen for me. I’ve got too much going on, and it’s going to take me forever to get where I want to be.
Well, you got that right! Not with that attitude, sister! >>This is how I talk to myself by the way. It’s literally like I have an angel and a devil on my shoulder << But then I think, why not me? Why can’t I be successful? If others have done it, I’m sure I can, too. The next time you find yourself doubting your own dreams because of fear of failure, just ask yourself this simple question: why not me?
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Honor The Struggle
Oooo. This one is good. I heard this phrase for the first time when I was watching a video with Brendon Burchard, the world’s highest paid performance coach, and it has stuck with me ever since. He talks about how we need to give ourselves the patience to do a good job. Usually, when we want something, we want it as soon as possible, and that goes for when we’re trying to accomplish a goal, too.
Honoring the struggle is about enjoying the struggle, the time between setting out to accomplish your goal and when you actually accomplish it. There is beauty and growth in struggling. If we can give ourselves patience and grace, enjoy and learn from the process, maybe we’ll be less afraid of the fear of failure.
If you haven’t ever listened to Brendon Burchard, or read his book, High Performing Habits, I suggest you grab it off Amazon or listen to it on Audible! In this book he covers 6 habits effective habits for reaching long term success.
The next time you start to let fear and self-doubt creep in in your pursuit of something new I want you to remind yourself that you are completely capable of doing anything that you put your mind to. Remember to stop the negative self talk and most importantly, when you’re not getting there fast enough, honor the struggle.
What are some ways that you like to overcome the fear of failure?
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