Double Pink Lines
When I first found that I was pregnant, although planned, I was in shock and full of anxiety and excitement. I was like hol-e shit things just got real. I couldn’t imagine how anyone from the show 16 & Pregnant felt when they took their pregnancy tests. Almost immediately I thought, what is my mom going to think? ThenI was like, oh right, I’m a married adult and it’s okay to be pregnant.
I’m Going to Love You Instantly
Once I remembered that I wasn’t going to get kicked out of the house for being pregnant because I actually owned my own home, excitement crept back in and I began imagining what the moment was going to feel like when I met my baby for the first time. I watched TLC’s A Baby Story every morning while I was getting ready for work and would cry every time those parents met their baby. So, I assumed I would have the same reaction. After all, that’s how you should react, right?
The Reality of Labor & Delivery
You always see the birth announcements on Facebook and Instagram that have the sweet little babe wrapped in a blanket, their stats of how much they weighed on a cute little letter board, and the caption that usually reads, “I loved you the minute I laid eyes on you.” Well, I’m here to tell you that the only thing I loved more after 16+ hours of hard labor was the thought of eating and taking a nap.
I hadn’t eaten for over 20 hours. My body just endured the most pain it ever had in my entire life. Labor is like an episode of Naked and Afraid. It’s like…who can lay naked in a hospital bed, not eat, and tolerate the most pain the longest and somehow survive. I wish I could have waived to a show director and called it quits. Someone get me a helicopter and escort me to Chik-Fil-A.
In case you’re reading this and wondering what labor feels like, I hate to be the one to tell you that it feels like hell. If hell had a feeling, it would be labor. It feels like your bones are shattering into a million pieces. Oh, but don’t worry…someone out there is going to tell you that it’s a beautiful experience. Just remember what I told you. They’re lying.
The “Golden Hour” After Birth
Somehow after all of this pain you’ve just endured without food and sleep you’re expected to snap out of it and instantly feel overwhelming joy and happiness? Maybe for some, but not for me. Of course I took advantage of that golden hour after birth, but what I felt was relief, exhaustion, and starvation. That doesn’t make me any less of a mom, it just makes me human. So for all of your first time, soon-to-be mamas out there, please don’t think that you weren’t made to be a mama when you don’t feel that overwhelming love for your baby right away. It will come. After you eat.
Khusbu says
Aw i loved this! I felt exactly the same way. People Don’t talk aboit that enough. Glad you found a way to share your story!!
Kbahgat says
That’s exactly why I started this! People aren’t honest enough about motherhood because they’re afraid they’ll be judged! So then everyone else is left feeling like they’re the only ones who go through certain emotions. Thanks for reading, Kbu!
Melissa blanco says
LOVE IT!
keep writing, i’ll read every post. i love relatable reads & blogs!
thanks for sharing.
Kbahgat says
Thank you for reading girlfriend!
Kim says
Cute post…i was starving after giving birth too. 🙂
Anji says
Great story, I know a lot of women including myself will totally be able to relate. Although each of us can experience or interpret giving birth differently, we all, in the end, want to eat!
cendu says
hey mama!
I loved that you kept it real! I can totally relate. I had a loooong labour that ended with a c-section. Yes, i was over the moon to meet my boo but man oh man was i tired. i pretty much held him for a few moments then knocked out. its an intense experience to say the least.
Kbahgat says
Yes! And I felt terrible that I didn’t feel this overwhelming sense of love for her right away. Thank you for reading!
Meredith says
Girl, i totally remeber nursing my son for like the second time ever while eatinf a Jimmy johns sandwich. ToTal bliss. Greah pist!
Kbahgat says
I love me a good sammich!
Anu Ganesh @ Simple Blissful Life says
I felt the same way too! I was starving and badly wanted to eat pizza. But had to wait to take solids 🙁
As the other commenter mentioned, no one generally talks about this. Kudos for sharing your story with us.
Kbahgat says
Thank you for reading!
Sarah says
Haha I love this!
Kbahgat says
Thanks for reading!
Elizabeth | Tired Mom Supermom says
Too funny! i too was so hungry after delivery, i ate like 3 full plates of food. sooo goood!! hospital food has never been my favorite but i did not even care what i are after a long labour. second time aorund i dont think i ate much at all, natural birth was much easier.
Kbahgat says
I was loving me some hospital burgers!
Trish ~ Habibi House says
“If hell had a feeling, it would be labor” cracked me up. I am a labor nurse and that is an accurate description!
Kbahgat says
People say you’ll forget the pain, but I’m pretty sure I’ll remember it for forever!
Erin @ lullabylark.com says
I had a traumatic birth experience with my first baby, and I didn’t feel that instant feeling of “love” either. I had been in hard labor for 27 hours. i did a natural birth, so that’s with no meds. it was so so so so so hard! after he was finally born, i was so exhausted, and my body was in shock! i just needed to rest and eat! thank you for writing this and letting moms know that it’s ok to feel however they feel after baby is born.
Ashley says
I feel this on a deep level lol. I had contractions Days before i was induced, and I labored for 10+ hours before going in For a c section. It wasn’t ideal. But man, i will never forget The contrast between the contraction pain and the epidural relief. Best feeling ever!
adventuringtoneverland says
This! So true momma! Great share:)
Lorena at www.lorenaylennox.com says
Great post! Thanks for sharing your story!
Jennifer Tanney says
Yes! Labor is horrible. Pregnancy wasn’t really great for me either but Holly Crap labor! I really don’t remember anything until after I ate and slept post labor. I definitely fell in love with my baby after eating too.
Kbahgat says
Ha! I usually love most things after I’ve eaten! 😉
Tish says
The first thing I said to my doctor after my child was born was, “Can I eat now?” lol I was so happy, but starving. Then they brought me meatloaf, but at that point I would’ve eaten anything.
Stacy Craft says
Everyone has such a different laBor/ birth experience dont they? Im so glad that there are resourced like this for exPEcting mamas so that they know not to put expectations on the experience!
Amanda says
oh my gosh, after my water broke i went to the hospital, and 8 hours later my doctor told me that i wasn’t technically in labor because i wasn’t dilated or actively contracting, so if i wanted i could go eat something. i was disappointed that i wasn’t in labor but i was elated i could go eat! i had the best breakfast bagel, it was so good that on my baby’s first birthday we went back to the hospital and had another! (i had forgotten we did that until your post! i wrote about it here, haha! http://thekriegers.org/2012/08/birthday-breakfast/)
Melissa says
Great read. I remember asking my doctor if it was really as bad as people say. She replies ‘ we’ll they don’t call it spa, it’s called labor for a reason’
Katja says
So funny! Good job mama!
Lydia says
Great post. I didn’t have that instant love moment when I had my son. I was more like cool look what i did wanna see it lol it’s nice to hear a story that doesn’t make it all sound like butterflies and rainbows in a second. Its an amazing experience that is hard work. with that being said i love my little miracle lol
Jaime says
Chick-fil-a was my #1 request after delivery…it was Sunday wah wah. Seriously though! They were all concerned that I was shaking and I was like well excuse me I haven’t eaten in more than 15 hours and I have low blood sugar. What exactly do you expect? I was “lucky” they had to take baby girl to the nursery to check some THIngs so I had some time to scarf a sandwich before being moved to the recovery room. Loved hearing your story 🙂
Amy says
I’m a labor and delivery nurse (night shift). We see all kinds of mommies! Listening to your body is never wrong. Some sleep, some eat, some breastfeed with one hand and shovel chicken nuggets as fast as they can. Good on you for sharing your honest story♡
Kbahgat says
The mamas who shove chicken nuggets in their mouth are my kind of mama 😉